His Thing

Silence. I've been quiet for almost a year now. It is very, very hard for me to write about this - but it is time....time for me to tell you how I "got what I asked for".  Do you remember when (in the last post) I realized that I got what I asked for in pursuing these beautiful boys?

I'll remind you of what I asked for...

"Use this Jesus to tell your story. Don't let this be about Lorrie and I. Don't let this be about us. When people see and hear what you are doing Jesus please take the honor, please take the praise, please take what you are worthy of...all of it."

On that day two years ago, I asked Jesus with all of my heart to let the 'adoption' be about him. Last September it became clear to me that he answered that prayer he...gave me what I asked for. Namely an opportunity to make this all about Jesus.  Naively, I thought I knew what that meant. I thought it meant for Lorrie and I to be with Levi, Josiah and Issac - to be their parents.  I assumed this to be the truth.  I assumed....

How do we assume to know the mind of the Almighty? Makes perfect sense now after 7 months of wondering why...why they are no longer here.  We can't assume to know anything about His purposes - save one thing.. they are good.  They are to prosper us, give us a hope and a future  (Jer 29:11).  I assumed way more than that.  I knew what I was after...giving a family to these boys, love they never had, emptying the orphanage and all that. Those things while good - those were my things.  

As you have probably surmised by now they are no longer ours...You have to understand....these boys needed and still do - much more than 'my things'. The wounds we could not see, the impact of living in fear, being abused and yes abusing others all took their toll.  I'm a Veteran.  I have seen the impacts of war on my brothers...and I have seen the same thing in these dear ones - and more.  Biological brothers...who teaches us how to be a brother or a sister? They had no mother or father to teach them...the word brother had no significance to them.  Family... they never saw one, pretty hard to know what 'adoption' is if you're them. My things....

His Boys

My things were not what they needed. Humbling. But then I think back to  His things... Jesus steamrolled a path to ...yes, rescue.  His thing.  Jesus arranged for the financing of the whole effort to... empty the orphanage. His thing.  Jesus mobilized hundreds of you to pray for us, to give to get them out of there....His thing. And though it has wounded us deeply (See Prov 27:6) Jesus chose Lorrie and I to spearhead the rescue....His Thing.  We had a role to play, he told us 'go' and we stepped out...His thing.

I often think of this loss as 'worse' than our 'loosing' Jacob.  But if you believe what Jesus said neither Jacob or these boys are lost.  They were never ours to loose.  They belong to the one who said "no one can pluck you from my hand" - just as I am, just as you are.  We are all... His Thing. 

So the boys are still here in America.  They have been placed with another family.  It will be a long road for them and the family.  Pray for all of them...for revelation, for healing, for light to invade dark places, for wisdom and discernment to carry the parents....for freedom.  I also want to take a moment to thank those closest to us who walked with us during all of this... you know who you are but you have no idea of how deeply you have ministered to us...His thing.

Letting go of my things....

Marshall