One of the hardest times during an adoption comes when all of the paperwork is completed and there is absolutely nothing more you can do but wait. Waiting for "the call" that will get the ball rolling to purchase airline tickets, book hotels and finally give you the opportunity to meet the children you have been praying and preparing for over a very long time is like being in the third trimester of pregnancy and not knowing when labor will begin. That is exactly where we are in our adoption process and it is a very hard place to be.
We received word that on May 21st -May 25th the boys would be in Manila completing their medicals and visa interviews. Our family was so excited with this news and, of course, we had to look back at the paperwork from Naomi's and Jacob's adoptions to give us an "idea" of the timeline ahead of us. In both cases, visa's had been issued within 7 days of their appointments and we received word that we could travel shortly after that. So, within a month of their medical exams we were in the Philippines meeting our child. That's it we said! We will most likely be traveling at the end of June into the beginning of July. We were so certain of this time frame - our time frame - that we began thinking ( and telling folks) we would probably be traveling during this time. (Rule number 1 in an adoption is NEVER have your own time frame. Rule number 2...once you have a time frame don't share it with many because plans always change with adoptions)! And sure enough, having our own time frame ended up being a bad thing as it is now the end of June and we have yet to receive the call we had anticipated back in May.
However, this week God gave me a new perspective on the wait as I was reading from Jesus Always. I read...
" Instead of trying to force Me to do what you want, when you want it, relax and look for what I am already doing. Live in a receptive mode - waiting for Me, trusting in My timing. "
I continued reading...
" My followers often fail to see the many blessings I shower on them. They're so busy looking for other things that they miss what is before them - or what is on the way. They forget I am sovereign God and the timing of events is My prerogative."
At that moment as I was reading those words God changed my heart. My eyes were opened to something that I hadn't seen before. Up until now, we have made the waiting all about us. When will the call come because WE need to know and WE need to plan. How much will airfare be? Will we have enough money to cover the tickets? What happens if we don't? What about Marshall's job? Will he be able to take vacation at a moments notice? This is the busy season for him. There are so many unknowns and that makes things difficult and scary. Yet, God gently reminded me as I was reading those words that the wait isn't just about us. It's also about our boys - even more so. As we wonder when the call will come and try to plan every last detail we are loosing sight of the most important thing. Everyday we wait for the call God is doing something in our boys heart to prepare them for our family. God knows what they need and exactly when they need it. For reasons we don't understand, our boys must need a little extra time in the Philippines to prepare to leave everything they have known, come to a new country and join our family. That's a big thing - especially for a young child. They must need something more. So, everyday we wait for our phone to ring, God is using the time to bring glory to His story and to prepare our boys (His children ) in ways we may never fully understand. I was reminded that His timing and His ways are always perfect. I was given a new perspective; one that has changed my whole way of thinking about this waiting thing.
I would like to say that the call came as I was writing this post. It did not. There are still so many unknowns at this time and the waiting is still hard. After all, we are human and are so excited to meet our boys. We still pray for the call to come soon. However, as we wait for the phone to ring and make a dash towards the caller ID with every phone call, we can rest and trust knowing that God is doing so much in our family and in our boy's lives. One day soon that call will finally come and we will be joined together as a family. What a day that will be!
"Lord help me keep my eyes on you as we wait for the call."