The Battle, The Wound, Healing and Overflow

Its been since January.  That was the last time I wrote to you.  Much has happened since then.  Good things, blessings, growth and above all a deeper understanding of who God is.

2015 for me was the hardest year I have ever lived.  Dealing with the loss of Jacob left more than a mark on me - it changed me.  I was for most of the year - not me.  My kids noticed.  My bride - she noticed.  At first the change seemed to be not a good one.  I was dulled - reduced to just getting through the day - trying to 'be normal'.

It was not until I wrote the last 2 posts before this one in January that I began to gain life again. Writing those two posts allowed me to take the bandages off of the wounds I suffered in the Jacob battle - revealing the scars that will always be with me as a reminder of the intensity of that battle.

Notice I did not say I become 'myself' again  -because I will never be that guy again.  I'm more now. There is a richness to my life that could have never been without that time with Jacob.  I wrote once that "Suffering Reveals Jesus"  - I was partially right.  It does for sure reveal Jesus but I am discovering it does more over time.  It deepens your reservoir - increasing the depth and providing more water that I think Jesus wants us to share with others out of the overflow.  Suffering left me with a richness in my life that would have been unattainable in any other way.

Think about that...great loss, great sadness, suffering, anger, wounding... gives way to....Healing, Deepening, Overflow that I think will be used to bless others.  Our story is not - loosing Jacob... It is gaining more of Jesus.

Even in the suffering we have a Good Father