“Are you sitting down?” Yes. “His clone came back”. What? “His clone came back.” What does that mean? “It means that the cause of his leukemia – the MDS has come back.” Airplane noise. I found out 2 hours ago that the great gamble – the generous gift from our unknown 20 something is failing.
Stunned. I am on a plane coming home from a meaningless business trip to Boise. I get the news in an airport waiting on a delayed plane to arrive to take me home. I’m sitting on this plane trying to process what the transplant doctor just told me. The people around me banter about…well – nothing. Jet noise. Laughter -while I try to process this. “Do you want to tell Lorrie – or should I call her?” Stunned. You call her. You explain it. I can’t. “Do you want me to talk to Jacob?” No let us get our head around this.
Thoughts rushing as the Jetstream slips over the wings. What do we do? He told me the options – but I don’t remember what he said. Something about maybe inducing graph versus host or host versus graph or graph versus leukemia and something about more chemo – maybe radiation….are you sitting down?” I’m sitting in a plane going back to Denver. What do we do? What do I do?
I’m tired. We are tired. He is tired I am sure. He just wants to get better. As I sit here I wonder if I am going to have to tell him he’s not going to get better. How do you do that? I have no idea what is going to happen. I do not know if my son will live or die. We descend. Twenty minutes out. I’m going to take a cab to the hospital and tell Jacob that I love him. He’s not seen any of us for 2 days. Sickness in the house. This is so hard. All of this.
I got to the hospital and realized I left my phone in the cab and headed up to Jacob’s room. There he was. Waiting on Dad and tacos. He asked me about Boise. I read to him out of Romans. We laughed. This morning the cab driver from Senegal brought me my phone. I cornered the doctor that has had leukemia before. “What do we do?” I asked.
I’m listening for His voice in a very high wind.
Marshall
I could not get through this without tears running down my face. Our hearts are just broken up for you all. Please know that we are praying for you and your wife. We are praying for a miraculous healing of sweet Jacob and we are praying for your other children. I am so thankful for your faith in Jesus Christ. He will carry you through. Loving you all in prayer, The Bouchers
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