Waiting to exhale

Bone Marrow Biopsy.  THE indicator of winning or loosing the fight. A week ago Jacob went in for  a biopsy.  The last one was clear - no leukemia blasts - some funky cells, but no leukemia.  That wait was long - but the wait between last Monday and the following Thursday was really long.  During that wait a parent thinks "was the last time a fluke?" and "is it safe to hope?"  Notice - not "is it ok to hope?"  Because you want to with every fiber in your being - but rather..."is it safe? ...do I dare?"

During the waiting of last week we had appointments every day in Denver with Jacob.  It's called "the workup" for transplant.  It's exhaustive(ing).  They check everything and then do what is needed to get him ready for transplant.  The last meeting was a 3 hour consult with a passionate transplant doc that takes cancer personally.  In the meeting we got the news...

He's clear.  No blasts. No Leukemia.  Some cells with "dented heads"  pre leukemic to be sure (Myelodysplastic Syndromes or MDS) but not Leukemia.  It was probably the cause of Jacobs AML M7 Leukemia but it's not leukemia.  Do you know what this means?

Transplant.  A chance for this boy to live.  We went from discussing hospice to....hope.  He has a match -not just any match but an 8 out of 8 factors match.  A generous 20something taking 3 days of his life and giving it to my son.  Exhale. Let it settle in. Dare I say...disbelief?  Breathe.

A flower called hope bloomed in my heart.  A slow welling up of praise and thankfulness to my Jesus.  Someone told me " ...celebrate it's like a touch down!"  Kind of.  To me it was more like that 4th quarter 1st down on the last drive of the game to give you a shot at winning by 1 point.  Know what?  He could win.  He could really beat this thing.  I'll take this form of hope.  It is the rawest, probably the most hopeful hope I have ever really felt.  This has taught me to hope -again.

I love how Jesus knows just when to act.  It is ok to hope - again. So the way ahead.  The work up is complete. Admission on 20 October.  Straight into the chemo that marks the end of a big part of Jacob's genetic code and marks the beginning of what to me is as close to a re-birth as one can have physically.  He gets the 'gift' from our 20 something on the 30th.  Did you know Jacob will take on the blood type of his donor?  He will have to get all of his inoculations all over again. In alot of ways...reborn.

He will get a new start - a new start because someone gave of themselves.  Sounds...familiar... I hope you can see the allegory that I do.  Jesus bled...he saved us all.  He rose again...and so did we.  Rebirth.  Life.  I am now inhaling...one of the sweetest fragrances ever....hope.  If you think your life needs a 'transplant', Jesus is the donor you are looking for.

Glory, Honor, Strength and Power be to Him!  The High King and Lover of ...us.

By the way... Jacob has been home for the last three weeks.  Here's a picture of how it's going...Weston Pass 2 weeks ago...one family 2 4X4s and alot of fun..

From Left to Right: Naomi, Bella the dog, Lorrie, Marshall,
Rosie the dog, Hannah, Joshua, Jacob and Noah