A Necessity

So I got to go worship for the first time in about a month last week.   During worship I started thinking about necessity.  Specifically my thought was this:  "is Jacob's illness a necessity?"  the more I thought about it I remembered what I believe and that is this:  My Jesus loves Jacob - more than I could ever love him. He has plans for Jacob - to do him good - not harm.  So if I believe that (and I do with all of my heart) then Jacob's illness must be a necessity -a holy necessity.  As I thought more about this I wondered ...but for what?  Here is what I concluded:  Jacob's illness serves the purpose to demonstrate hope. It demonstrates an assurance that Jacob and his family has - Jesus will never leave us or forsake us and Jesus has plans for our good - for the good of others.

After worship I got to speak with a dear friends who are going through some serious hardship with their child.  You know what they told me?  "I get the feeling this struggle is a necessity" - exactly what I was wondering as I worshiped.  That my friend is confirmation that I am onto something important here.

Hope and assurance like fear and despair is contagious.  You know what I can tell you - Jacob's hope is exactly that - contagious.  I have seen it brighten the day of the staff here at Children's.  I'll bet that some just don't understand how this young man has "such a great attitude".  I would wager they wonder why he's always "all good". I believe that the effect Jacob is having  on the wonderful people we have the privilege of being with here on the 7th floor is part of the "necessity" of his Leukemia - and I believe there is more that we may or may not understand until later.

It is so tempting to get in a fetal position and despair when unthinkable things happen to those you love.  But that is not a necessity - especially when you trust that someone bigger than you, who loves more than you and "knows the plans he has for you" is holding your hand.

Jacob Update:  So we are waiting for a certain type of white blood cell to reappear in Jacob's labs.  They

The Obi Wan Knobi of Legos

are called monocytes.  Now when I first heard that term it reminded me of some old testament biblical people - as in "the Israelites subdued the king of the Monocytes and there was great rejoicing in the land". Nope - its a type of white blood cell.  He's at 0.  That means the chemo nuked everything and we're waiting for it to come back.  The Monocytes are an indicator that that is happening.  Today - no Monocytes.  We want Monocytes bad.  Four days we've been at 0.  Jacob feels fine other than being quarantined to his room.  He keeps busy.  He's still building stuff:  legos (thanks to folks that are sending him kits ;), model airplanes and other things.  He's still happy.  He says "I just want to get better".  It's as if he just knows this is where he needs to be.  Its a necessity.

Continue to pray for the families on the 7th floor.  There are many here - many worse off than us.  Try commuting from Montana or the 4 corners area for example.  Pray for the staff here from the housekeeping folks, the nurses, docs, techs - they all have a demanding job.  - Pray for Monocytes ( we wonder if there is a lego kit for those).  Love your kids, Love each other, Give Glory to the High King today.

Bumpy Road - Great View

So.  We're still here.  Jacob is still there.  I have to say if you have to have Leukemia you need to do it like our son.  He's through his first round of chemo and waiting in his room patiently for his numbers to come up - which will enable him to come home for a brief visit.  I said earlier that this is going to be a marathon and not a sprint - boy did I make an understatement.

You'll notice we've not written too much lately.  I guess we just needed to get our heads around this. when this happened to Jacob it was an instant left turn for everyone in our family.  Kind of like a car getting lassoed and turned in an instant onto an unknown road. But here we are on the road.  We're now getting familiar with this road.  Its bumpy to be sure but it also has some pretty incredible scenery.  Let me explain.

Jacob as the Avatar

First let's start with Jacob.  How do you thrive with Leukemia?  Yet this young man is doing it.  Sure - he's lost his hair.  He's stuck on the 7th floor of Denver Children's Hospital.  He is smiling - always. His attitude is incredible.  All this guy needs is something to do.  Bottom line up front:  If he has legos, paracord to weave, binoculars to look out of the window, a kindle with a good book on it (thanks friends) he's good - no seriously he's really good.  He's better - he's happy!  Crazy right?

It get's better. We get affirmation that adopting Jacob was God's plan.  As I spent the night with him we had a dude's night.
 We talked, we played, we watched the hobbit.  I tell Jacob:  "You know I'm not always going to be able to be here Jake".  He answered: "I'm not worried about that Dad - I know you'll come back".  Now that might appear insignificant to you - its not.  Remember that Jacob was abandoned three times in his life:  first as a newborn, hours old outside of the orphanage he grew up in, second a failed adoption -that was a very bad situation for him, and then third, another failed adoption one spouse wanted him, the other did not.  Having undergone all of this, he told me:  I KNOW YOU WILL COME BACK.  - Now that is a nice view out the window on this bumpy road.

Nothing Beats A Grandmother

Another beautiful view we have had is that of the people who care.  We have had our friends show up and stay the night with Jacob - playing battleship to keep his mind off the chemo.  We have had food - really good food delivered to our family as mom and dad have been taking turns staying with Jacob - people have come out of the wood work to help. Prayers - we believe God is Sovereign - period.  And we praise Him that we have many, many others out there praying for us, praying for Jacob and who knows what else.   All kinds of people - folks we know and others we don't have been showing up.  We've had people offering to buy gas for us as we travel the 160 mile round trip almost daily.  Finally we have a Grandmother - Peggy Manthiey who rolled into town for two weeks and did what grandmothers do - take care of  grand kids. The boy gained over a pound under her watch! (A very good thing) When she got here Peggy had only met Jacob a few times - now they are fast friends - he even beats her at canasta.

Thank You for your prayers.  Thank you for your time. Thank you for your love.  Thank you for sharing meals with us.  Thank you for putting gas in the car, Thank you for sitting with our kids, Thank you for spending the night at the hospital, Thank you Nurses (you guys rock!), Thank  you Doctors (ditto!) Thank you all for being the people God created you to be.

Thanks and Praise be to the Lord our God who sustains us and heals us!  - Make much of him today!

Never alone..not even at Bass Pro...

Survival bracelets.  Jacob loves to make them.  So how do you pass time at the hospital?  That's right you make bracelets - well Jacob makes them.


So yesterday Jacob decided it was time to make some survival bracelets.  Given that is NOT a video game I'm all in.  So I start calling around, looking for surplus stores where you can find this stuff.  I made one call to Bass Pro in Denver and get the operator.  I told her what I was looking for and she transferred me to a young lady in the sunglasses department.

Survival Bracelets

"So do you have any parachute chord?" I ask. "You mean to make bracelets?" she asks.  "Yeah.  I have a son that's going to be in the hospital for a long time."  "I'm sorry - what's wrong?"  "Cancer." I said.  The young lady asks me if I can hold on a minute then gets back on the line and says "I have two bracelet kits in stock - will you be coming today to pick them up?"  And I told her I would.

So I drive to Bass Pro and get directions to this young lady's station in the store.  I arrive and introduce myself as being "that guy".  She pull's out a huge bag containing a shirt, a hat, a beginner's fly rod, fishing tackle and a pair of polarized sunglasses - then announces that the bracelet kits are down in there somewhere.  "Take it and tell him to get better she says".

I almost lost it. It was overwhelming to think that there are strangers who care for our Jacob. Another pointer from the Master "You are not alone".  We  ...are not alone.  So if you ever feel alone, know this - you are not.

So we make bracelets, we get blessed by people God puts in our path. We do chemo therapy, he gets sick and cracks a joke about it.  I hope, I really hope that as nurses and doctors and friends come in this room Jesus is made much of.  I hope that as we do our laps around the hall and we meet people they sense his presence and smell the hope that is Jesus.

As I write this, Jacob sleeps. Chemo is catching up..."not fun" as Jacob says.  We are hard pressed and tired but we are never alone.

"But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power 

is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; 

perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, 

but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, 

so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive 

are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be 

revealed in our mortal body. "

II Corinthians 4 7-11

And you know what?  Life is being revealed in all of this.  Love the Lord and hug your kids today.

Marshall

The Valley and Courage

Acute Myeloid Leukemia.  Cancer.  Words a parent never wants to hear.  We heard those words yesterday.  "He'll need chemo - right away".  Jacob needs chemo. Who would have thought this boy who has already faced being abandoned - thrice, watched his friends get adopted while he stayed behind, who finally found home would be told "-cancer".

As I sit here in Children's Hospital in Denver, my son is in surgery, getting a 'central line' added to his chest. Through this line will pass medication that will make him feel terrible while saving his life.  Six months of chemo perhaps - a very, very long road ahead. He's heroic this boy.  He came out of his second of perhaps many more procedures and the first thing he says is "are we done already?"

Jacob at Denver Children's Hospital

We are stunned.  Our lives changed forever in one meeting with a doctor.  We are stunned - he is peacefully eating jello as I write this.  We love this boy.  He gets tubes in his chest - we cringe, we empathize - Jacob watches Tom and Jerry.  He gets blood drawn, pressures taken - we wonder when it will end - he plays a round of madden  on X box making Denver actually beat the Seahawks. All this since Saturday mind you. This convinces us that Jacob will not just get through this - he going to thrive. He
is courageous and it makes me so proud
to be his Dad.

We've seen our share of valleys and here is what we know:  it is there and only there that you get to walk right next to Jesus.  We're now on the edge of one of the scariest valleys we have ever seen or imagined - We know Jesus is there, waiting to walk with us through it.  And as we stare down into the unknown - Jacob goes running past us, yelling at us to catch up -he's running right down in there.  We're going.  It seems like Jacob already knows that's where Jesus is and that is where he'll meet us - down there.   We know that no matter how hard this gets we will NEVER be alone.

"Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you."

Joshua 1:5

We will keep you informed in the coming weeks.  This is going to be a marathon - not a sprint.

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress..."

We were contacted today by our adoption agency and we learned that a family who had been matched with a brother and sister in the Philippines decided not to pursue their adoption. They were at the point where the children were awaiting their visa appointments - that is so close to home. Can you imagine? When you were so close...so close to home you and your brother are alone -again.

Here is a description of this brother and sister: "The sister was born in January 2004 and the brother was born in July 2008. The little guy was born with congenital heart disease and is on a list now for a year in the Philippines awaiting heart surgery. "


If you are thinking of adopting - Hebrews 4:7 says Therefore God again set a certain day, calling it Today, when a long time later he spoke through David, as was said before: "Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts." Now I know this scripture speaks to hearing and receiving the gospel - But when I heard about this it came to my mind immediately.

Some of you might say "but adopting older kids is hard" -granted. But if you read this blog you will know that it is more than doable - its beautiful.

If any of you are hearing his voice now. Today might be the day. Call Kim at 970-226-8948 if you want to hear more.

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress..."

All our fountains....

Rock art: The Virgin

Ok.  So I want to just apologize for not posting as much as we have in the past.  But hey we're living it now !  Family of seven with 5 amazing children, and oh what a blessing.

This past Labor Day weekend we did what we love - we went camping in the San Luis Valley.  Boy did we need to unplug.  You know the deal:  work, stuff, more stuff...we really needed to get out - so we did and it was wonderful!

Since his arrival Jacob has marveled at the pictures of his siblings playing at the Great Sand Dunes.  And he wanted to go bad.  So first stop - Great Sand Dunes National Park.  We stopped and the kids shot up the dunes (about 500ft up).  We  marveled at creation, used sleds to zip down the dunes and well - we just unplugged in God's creation.  We marveled at the azure blue sky contrasted with the brightness of the sand on the background of the Sangre De Christo Mountains.   But sand in August is well ....HOT.

To cool off we checked out of the sand dunes and went to the cooler climes of Zapata Falls - a cascading waterfall that falls into an almost totally enclosed canyon with 45 degree water.  Once again wonder and awe of the one who made it all. Jacob and Naomi clambered up the creek and took in the jaw dropping spectacle of fountains of water and mist on the rocks grinning from ear to ear.

Jacob AKA Spider Man

But now we were cold.  -Good thing Dad had them staying at the Sand Dunes pool - sort of an oasis in the middle of the San Luis Valley that sports a hotsprings pool filled with 98 degree water - once again a fountain, warm and soothing.  The kids romped an played in the water - Hannah trying her best high dive, Noah in total chill mode and Jacob and Naomi getting thrown into the water by Dad and loving it. Oh and Mom?  Yeah in the "therapy pool" (who needs calgon right?).  A great day was made even better when our oldest Joshua decided to show up after work - Perfect we're all together now.

Josh Helps Mom Cheat

The next day we went to Penitente Canyon on the West side of the Valley. Travelling across the valley man the vistas you see - its just big.  Clouds, sun, distant storms, mountains...beauty. Once at Penitente we hiked and you know us.... we broke out the ropes, courtesy of our son Joshua.  Most got to get on and climb one of the bolted routes in Penitente.  Josh has become quite good and set up an anchor and helped his Mom,

Hannah and Jacob take a crack at the 40 ft Rock.  Jacob was at first not so sure about it but we encouraged him to try...he did and he's a spider!  And then the fountains came again - a thunderstorm from the Southwest - And anyone knows that being on a rock + lightning = bad ju ju.  So we cleared the route as the rain started to fall and started running back to the car - laughing all the way.

We did much more exploring and discovering and marveling at life and creation that day and the next. I was so restored and alive again because I was able to do this with these beautiful ones I get to call my family.  All of this is blessing - poured out on us by the one who loves us - and you. Did you notice the thread that is common with this trip? - Fountains.  Water poured out for us, on us, in us by Jesus. I am so in awe of this King. We had a theme song that Hannah (our DJ while travelling) played often on this latest adventure and it sums all of this up - click here to  listen.

May the one who gives living water to all who ask bless you -and may all of us who get busy take time to drink it.

Marshall

Camping

One of the things we love to do as a family is camp.  About 7 years ago Marshall came home from work and told me we had the opportunity to purchase a 21 foot camper dirt cheap.  I told him there was no need for us to have a trailer as I  had grown up as a "city gal" and had no intention of going camping.  After some smooth talking he finally talked me into giving camping a try and so we purchased the trailer.

Our trailer is not fancy by any means.  We always seem to pull up next to people who have bigger rigs with fewer children.  The trailer actually served our family quite well until about 3 years ago when the kids got a little bigger. These days most of the children sleep outside under the stars and mom gets the trailer to herself!  I really kinda like that set up.

It is quite an experience going camping for the first time when you have children from another country.  Jacob had never seen a trailer before so his eyes really lit up when Marshall pulled into our driveway with the trailer attached to the car.  It seems as though there isn't anyway to explain something like a travel trailer to a child who has lived in an orphanage his entire life.

Last weekend we hitched up our trailer and went out to the forest.  Many memories were made as is the case every time we camp.  Spending the weekend relaxing with no phone, computer or radio is exactly what the body needs. Eating s'mores, sleeping under the stars, no shower for three days is what life is all about.  So thankful we have been given the gift of sharing camping with our children.